Get a Life!

2006-03-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

after a long break, here is a joke

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: 'Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying.' 'No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison . . .'

driving lesson

2006-01-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

i am going to take driving lesson at Bukit Batok Driving Centre(BBDC) soon! gosh, i just realise almost all my relatives took their driving lesson there and pass it on their first try. they all took at the same place and were students of the centre. those few unlucky relatives who din pass on their first try were private students. i can sort of see a trend here liao. students of the centre will definitely pass on their first try!!!! SET i am going to be a student there, hahaha.

GOOD LUCK TO ME IN MY QUEST FOR MY DRIVING LICENSE

weird stuff

2006-01-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

i guess there are a lot of weird things in woodlands.
1) a person travelling around on a unicycle
2) a parrot on a perch on top of a motorcycle which is moving very quickly (i tot the parrot was a fake one until i saw it moving)
3)a big(very big) trumpet on the front of a car and wings at the bag. it is as though the driver want to use tt instead of the conventional honk.

NS

2005-12-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

2 weeks have past since i am enlisted....
1 year and 50 weeks to go!
ORD 19/12/2007
CMPB MCC is a good place to be posted to. if anyone is ever downgraded due to injury(touchwood)
pray tt u come to MCC.

REC ES SOH

i like indians

2005-12-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

i must make use of my blog to tell the whole world that i have changed my perception of indians. i must say indians are the nicest people around(no sarcasm here). out of 10 times i had been offered a seat on a crowded train, 9 times the seat is offered to me by an indian(or a bangla worker to be more specific). i must say tt most singaporeans are not helpful. they shld just hang themselves in disgrace. next time if any of u see a indian or bangla workers on the street, pls treat them with more respect. even though they may not be as privileged as us(having to come all the way to a foreign country to earn a living) at least they are courteous, polite and have caring heart. all singaporeans shld learn from them.

back

2005-11-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

after more than a month of break, i am back!

some jokes:

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son

Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates

Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank

Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

2
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle,
Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At
the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have
changed the world, your reward is, you can hang
out with anyone you want to in heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so
you were the one who invented the
Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me...."

God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in
inventing something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without
a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally
spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor
of woman?"
God said, " Ah, yes."
"Well ," said Arthur, "professional to
professional, you have some major design flaws
in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,"
replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed
in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God
read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur,
"but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than
yours.

no offense to any gal reading my blog, i am not sexist

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is?
"Bob".

"And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?Oh that's right --- question time.

Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand .

George points him out and asks him what his name is?
"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions."

First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, Where is "Bob"?

soccer

2005-10-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

In response to Pires funny 2nd penalty kick
"You know why they took the [second] penalty like that yesterday?” José smiled. “They have so many penalties in a season they had to do something different.”

Gd Job everton for taking 2 pts from chelsea and ending their winning streak. i think everton really deserve a point as they fought very hard. nvm, 11 more wins and chelsea can win the premiership title again. i hope 2nd will be Wigan and 3rd Charlton. hahaha, arsenal can continue to be no.8 and henry will most likely leave the club liao.

funny incident

2005-10-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

RIO FERDINAND: During his spell at Leeds the England defender managed to pick up a tendon strain in his knee watching television. Ferdinand had his foot up on a coffee table for a number of hours and ended up injuring a tendon behind his knee.

RICHARD WRIGHT: The Everton goalkeeper faced most of the summer on the sidelines after damaging his shoulder falling through a loft as he was trying to pack away his suitcases.

SEAN FLYNN: The then Kidderminster captain suffered a broken nose, busted lip and bruised toes after tripping over his son's toy cars.

DAVE BEASANT: The veteran goalkeeper managed to rule himself out for eight weeks in 1993 when he dropped a bottle of salad cream on his foot, severing the tendon in his big toe.

SANTIAGO CANIZARES: The Spain goalkeeper missed the 2002 World Cup after accidentally shattering a bottle of aftershave in his hotel sink. A piece of glass fell on his foot, severing a tendon in his big toe.

KASEY KELLER: The American international knocked out his front teeth while pulling his golf clubs out of the boot of his car.

ALAN WRIGHT: The diminutive former Aston Villa full-back strained his knee by stretching to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari. He subsequently swapped the sports car for a Rover 416.

DAVID JAMES: The England goalkeeper once pulled a muscle in his back when reaching for the television remote control and the keen angler also tweaked his shoulder when trying to land a monster carp.

STEVE MORROW: The former Northern Ireland defender broke his collarbone after falling off the shoulders of Tony Adams while celebrating the 1993 League Cup final win against Sheffield Wednesday.

ALEX STEPNEY: In 1975 the Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw while shouting at his defenders during a match against Birmingham.

CHIC BRODIE: The Brentford goalkeeper's career came to an abrupt end in October 1970 when he collided with a sheepdog which had run onto the pitch. Brodie shattered his kneecap while the dog got the ball. ``The dog might have been a small one, but it just happened to be a solid one,'' he reflected.

SVEIN GRONDALEN: The Norway defender had to withdraw from an international during the 1970s after colliding with a moose while out jogging.

ALAN MULLERY: The England star missed the 1964 tour of South America after injuring his back while brushing his teeth.

DAVID BATTY: The former Leeds and Blackburn midfielder managed to re-injure his Achilles tendon when he was run over by his toddler on a tricycle.

DARREN BARNARD: The former Barnsley midfielder was sidelined for five months with a torn knee ligament after he slipped in a puddle of his puppy's urine on the kitchen floor.

LEE HODGES: The then Barnet player slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and wrenched his groin.

CHARLIE GEORGE: Arsenal's 1971 FA Cup hero managed to cut off his toe with a lawnmower.

MISTAR: The Indonesian footballer was killed aged just 25 by a stampede of pigs which overran his team's training pitch in 1995.

water on mars

2005-10-15T16:58:00.000+08:00

scientists have discovered tt there is water no mars. here is the pic:

scroll down to see

vid

2005-10-08T16:11:00.000+08:00

sian

2005-10-03T18:07:00.000+08:00

Liverpool 1-4 Chelsea
Nice work liverpool/Gerrard to cause Chelsea to concede another goal. A remarkable feat
To all Soccer Fans out there
'It's eight matches, eight victories, 18 goals - I think it's time to respect my players, my team and Chelsea Football Club.' - mourinho

sigh, despite the nice victory of chelsea, i am quite sad today. sian la, i got 2M for my S papers. totally screwed up my math s, a pathetic 39 despite getting 92 for my normal math prelim paper. and i miss chem distinction grade by 4 marks(ok, i admit 4 marks is really a lot) Guess i really need to work harder to get my D for my S Paper. Qi Sheng is my idol now lor, he got a result tt everyone would love to get. 4A A1 DDM, wah lao, this is seriously no joke leh, i must really strive harder to get this result(minus the M)
time for me to buck up and improve on my Bio,GP and S Paper!!!!!

technology is getting more and more impressive lately. went to a temple yesterday and wow, i saw a wishing well tt churn out 4D no. the wishing well is actually a computer put underneath a layer of water and when u slot in a coin, the program start running and churn out the 4 digits. it is quite cool and exciting as it look like jackpot,the numbers rotating and slowly appear one by one. hehe, hope i can win 4D and win a fortune even though the probability is like 1/9977(if u want to know how i get this, try thinking of any instances when the exact same no. came out twice in a row).

joke

2005-09-28T19:46:00.000+08:00

I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy..I'd have
nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said ...."Come on over,
there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging
naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and
a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came
off.
I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox the cat
kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a
toaster and a radio.

I was such an ugly baby...My mother never &%#%@% fed me. She
told me that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly...My father carries around the picture of the kid
who came with his wallet.

When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and
said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we
could... But he pulled through."

I'm so ugly ... My mother had morning sickness - after I was
born.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Once when I was lost..... I saw a policeman and asked him to
help me find my parents. I said to him .... "Do you think we'll
ever find them?"

He said, "I don't know kid ... there are so many places they can
hide."

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how
big I'd get.

I went to see my doctor "Doctor, every morning when I get up and
look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with
me?" he said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some
rest.

over!

2005-09-23T19:39:00.000+08:00

prelim is finally over! yay! i can play and go out for all i care now.

the first thing i did after bio paper is to go play dota. it has been so long since i last touched the game and i am pretty amazed tt i am still quite good at it. went to paradiz with qisheng, sok, angwei, teck tee, rongkai and david to play. angwei is too shen already, he is pwning in all the games we played. haha but i am not bad either, i can go one v one with him in the third game ad win his omniknight(lvl 25 with heart of terrasque, cranium etc) with my phantom lancer(lvl 25 with yange and sange, cranium, stygian) phantom lancer really rox. no one can stand against my whole army of mirages. my scores are pretty good. always in the top 2(first game my score is no.1 second game is no.2 after angwei and third game is no.2 too after rongkai). we were playing with 3 other strangers as well who were pretty average only. they are a funny bunch of ppl though, making quite a lot of noob comments(one of them even clap while playing). my cs is really damn lan, got killed hell lot of times. i think i am just not suited to play cs

after the awesome dota experience, me sok david angwei and qisheng went to some funny store to eat lunch at 4pm(haha, we forgot the time when playing) . this is the beginning of my non stop eating. after eating our late lunch, we went to ps and to our surprise, harold au is there as well. hmmm, i always tot he will be going out with "someone" after the phy s paper but in the end tt certain 'someone' is not feeling well. was stoning for a while in ps b4 me sok qs and harold meet up with karen and johnny. wanted to watch movie but no good show to watch so in the end when to gelare to eat waffle and ice cream. haha we r suppose to just watch karen and johnny eat but in the end, we just bought food for ourselves.

karen and johnny have some class party to go to so in end left me sok and harold. we were toking so much crap tt we take so many wrong paths when making our way to orchard. firstly, we went to the NE line, then we take the wrong train and ended up in city hall. then we go in the opposite direction to cineleisure and lastly we take the lift to the wrong floor(we plan to go k box). k box is really damn ex lor. 20 bux per person. we abandoned the idea of singing karaoke and so went to yuka yika for dinner.

haha me and sok were already damn full liao but we still go ahead with eating at yuka yika(hope i got the name rite) eat non stop from 7 plus to 10. keep on heating the steamboat with stuff and eating as though we have not eaten in days. it is seriously very fun to eat dinner and spend time with frens and we tok abt so much stuff( cannot be posted here as they are secrets )
we wanted to go to sara loh hse which is nearby but it is already very late and so we make our way home at 10 plus.

i spend more than 40 bux for the whole day but very worth it.

went to play pool today with gary, kp, jason, kangwen and nic ong today. wah lao, i seriously damn lousy in pool. lost all my skill liao(dun have much to begin with :D ) gary is still as pro as ever. we tried many funny game plays such as using poker card to decide the ball to hit and gary got the highest while me jason and kp only got 1 pt each. then we play 9 balls and me and gary won a game each. 9 game is very fun as everyone will do anything just to get the 9th ball in.(gary finish the first with his second stroke while i finish the game by the fourth) must really go and play more pool to brush up my skill!!!!!!

2005-09-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

yay! 2 papers more!

2005-09-19T18:43:00.000+08:00

in view of 3 bloggers getting sued over racist remarks, i decide to put a disclaimer.

any racist jokes are posted here for the sake of fun and that i do not really mean it.

urm... even though i am not sure whether i have posted any racist jokes, this is to protect me from getting sued. all is done in the name of fun and i did not say anything real bad yet. time to convert into a muslim and indian lover now.

prelim is finishing soon! going to change this blog skin so everyone watch out :D

2005-09-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

i hate phy paper!!!!!! argh, the easier the paper, the more careless i am. fu** la, so many careless mistakes liao. the harder the papers, the more peaceful i felt after paper even though i know i screw up. maybe is cos everyone will screw up as well so i won't be the only one. hope to get the ideal grade but it seem very hard.

aiya 8 more days to go!

2005-09-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

11 more days to freedom!

yawn

2005-09-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

i am bored. dun feel like mugging....

england is such a loser. lose to 116th N Ireland. loser loser loser loser

sven shld be sacked. let mourinho take over and he can show how to use the 4-5-1 formation which work so well for chelsea

i am bored. give me more manga to read!!! i just finish reading yakitate japan, a funny manga abt a boy with solar hands who set out to make a bread tt can represent japan. really a nice manga. go www.anime-source.com to read.

http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/forum/story/0,5562,339311,00.html
the most cock article i ever read. all rj students go and read this article. i bet u will "like" it.

me going crazy!!! hahahaha!!!

wow

2005-08-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

wow, this pic surely top any other pics i posted

joke nc16

2005-08-29T15:35:00.000+08:00

some crude jokes

(1)
4 miracles of a woman:
-getting wet without taking a shower
-bleeding without getting hurt
-giving milk without eating grass
-and making boneless flesh hard.

(2)
A man bumps into a woman and says "So sorry ma'am. If your heart is as soft as your ^%%!%$s, you will forgive me"
The lady replies: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I am in room
603"

(3)
Q: How do the Talibans seduce their women?
A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their
pentagon.

(4)
Girls reaction to penis sizes:
# 9'' - oh %$$@ pain!
# 7'' - oh yes, yum!
# 6'' - oh perfect!
# 5'' - mmm ok!
# 4'' - push more
# 3'' - is it in?
# 2'' - idiot! Just use your tongue.

(5)
Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Airport (flat)
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

(6)
During pregnancy:
The 1st three months, do it the normal style
Next three months do it the doggy style
And the last three months do it the wolf style.
sit outside the hole and howl.

(7)
Latest statistics on 'what men do after SEX???
2% eat
3% smoke cigarettes
4% take a shower
5% go to sleep
86% get up and go back home to their wife.
HOW TRUE!!!

(8.)
What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
"Fark you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP."

(9)
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every Fuck!"
Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"

(1O)
Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency.
Angry maid says, " at least I am better than you in bed."
Lady (amazed): "Did boss tell you this?"
Maid: "No, the driver did."

(11)
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
" After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

(12)
A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks "how 300%?"
She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his finger and burnt his tongue."

(13)
Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?
Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are left un@#%%ed , how would you feel?

(14)
Policeman arrested a prostitute.
Prostitute: "I'm not selling sex!
Policeman: "Then what are you doing?"
Prostitute: "I'm selling condoms and offering free demo.

joke

2005-08-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going
back tot he place where they first met.
Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.
The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as enomenal.
Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.
Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know
his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"
The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves.
Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.
He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that %*$!ing fence wasn't electrified."

joke

2005-08-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one - "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" she asked.

"Just a minute, I have to go piss."

The teacher replied "That would be rude and impolite!" "What about you Bill, how would you say it?"

"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table."

"And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"

"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."

The teacher fainted.

...

2005-08-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

chelsea seriously needs to buck up soon and if the performance at wigan continue, chelsea will not win the premiership back to back. i hope this can be a wake up call for them and there will be better performance in the future. i kind of like mourinho action going to Wigan manager Paul Jewell and hugged him and told him his team didn't deserve it. seriously wigan deserve the point for their effort and this show tt the underdog can also do it if they give their all. i think i will look out for wigan for this season and hope they will not be relegated as predicted by punters. good job wigan!

sad la

2005-08-12T19:07:00.000+08:00

wah lao, i can't believe wei jian got kik out. me really ji sad lor. i was hoping tt junyang n shi xin hui will be the ones to be kik out but in the end... sigh, this is fate la. sian la,i no longer can see silver and wei jian on stage liao. wei jian is the only guy contestants tt i support since the start of the show n i am betting on him to win the male superstar lor. now can only hope tt kelly will win the whole thing, she is the only one left with the superstar feel. i think she can definitely do better in the next rd. all the way, kelly! i hope tt silver n wei jian can strive on n i will support them always. hope they join some other contests n win something :)

laugh

2005-08-12T18:56:00.000+08:00

Riot police broke up a rare demonstration by four people demanding greater transparency and accountability in Singapore's state-managed pension fund and other government-linked agencies.

A dozen anti-riot police wearing helmets and knee-high protective gear and carrying shields and batons formed a phalanx outside the offices of the Central Provident Fund (CPF) as a commanding officer approached the demonstrators.

"You are committing an offence of public nuisance. If you don't disperse you will be arrested," the officer told the protesters as business people and employees watched in the central business district.

The four protesters, among them an office administrator and the sister of an opposition leader, Chee Soon Juan, voluntarily dispersed. They denied being part of any political group.

Police later asked them to hand over their protest materials -- T-shirts and placards -- as part of an investigation to determine whether they had violated any laws.

The two men and two women assembled at lunchtime outside the CPF building in the business district. They said they did not need a permit and staged their protest for about an hour.

Under the law, any public protest of at least five people without a police permit is deemed illegal. The protest took place as Singapore was in the midst of official celebrations of its 40th anniversary of independence.

The protesters hoisted placards calling for greater openness in how the government handles public funds used for retirement pensions, overseas investments and the building of subsidized high-rise apartments.

A police officer said they had received a telephone call from a "member of the public" about the protest, prompting them to send in the riot police.

Monica Kumar, 45, one of the protesters, said they had been insipired by public outrage that followed revelations last month that the chief executive of Singapore's biggest charity, the National Kidney Foundation (NKF), was being paid 350,000 US dollars annually.

The scandal sparked an online petition signed by more than 40,000 people and forced the NKF chief executive, T.T. Durai, and the entire board to resign.

"In reality, the NKF is reflective of the entire system in Singapore where public matters are run in a non-transparent and non-accountable manner," the protesters said in a statement.

The statement called on the Housing Development Board and the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation (GIC) to open their books for public scrutiny.

GIC manages more than 100 billion US dollars in funds and invests globally.

"We call on the government to make Singapore more transparent and accountable, starting with the state organisations mentioned above," the protesters said.

this is so funny! haha, first time in my whole life tt i heard a protest in singapore. this is so singapore-ish, sending 12 armed riot police against 4 unarmed ppl. i bet there are snipers stationed around the area and rdy to shoot just in case the 4 ppl decide to hit the police wif the placards. the placards are very very dangerous. if the protestors made any wrong movements, i bet the riot police will shoot the smoke grenade to protect themselves. the riot police will then proudly tell their grandchildren in the future that they have stopped a riot b4. too bad the protestors are a person short if not u can see tanks rolling in and special task force will be sent in too.

chio bu

2005-08-11T18:54:00.000+08:00

this week pic. hmmm, due to requests from a classmate, i shall temporarily stop posting chio bus with short hair. hahaha

kingdom of heaven

2005-08-10T13:08:00.000+08:00

wtf! i got cheated by ares galaxy again! wtf! this is already the second time tt i dl something from ares and it came out a totally different movie. first time is i go dl shrek2 and it turn out to be the last samurai. now i try to dl kingdom of heaven and it turn out to be some cock comedy tok show. bloody hell, wasted 3 hrs of my bandwidth. sigh, now i am trying to dl kingdom of heaven again and this time it better turn out the rite way.

i just watch peter russell comedy yesterday. it is damn hilarious. i always like show where the comedian discriminate against his own race which is indian. hahaha, he is a true racist lor. can discriminate all the races in the world, including his. one of the more memorable part is on the difference between white and black parents. white dun beat their child while blacks do. it is damn funny as peter russell use his own experience to show us this. his dad will always say 'someone going to get hurt real bad' b4 beating him and it is damn funny as peter know the someone is him but it always give him a bit of hope tt it will not turn out to be him. he learn from his white fren to threaten his dad to call the children foundation but his dad retort him by saying ' it takes 23 min to get from the children foundation to here. in the mean time, someone going to get hurt real bad.'

this peter russell is really the man. 'be a man, do the rite thing' - peter russell

superstar

2005-08-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

here is the song list for this week superstar:
洪子惠
�《都是夜归人》（电视剧《都是夜归人》主题曲），原唱者：许美静
�《爱情字典》，原唱者：孙燕姿

石欣卉
�《温柔的夜》（电视剧《舞榭歌台》插曲），原唱者：邓妙华
�《心痛》，原唱者：陈洁仪

潘嘉丽
�《城里的月光》（电视剧《豆腐街》主题曲），原唱者：许美静
�《担心》，原唱者：陈洁仪

陈伟联
�《我的生活在这里》（电视剧《五脚基》主题曲），原唱者：吴佳明
�《你是我的唯一》，原唱者：巫启贤

洪俊扬
�《遗忘过去》（电视剧《咖啡乌》主题曲），原唱者：巫启贤
�《他一定很爱你》，原唱者：阿杜

何维健
�《关怀方式》（电视电影《七月俏佳人》主题曲），原唱者：陈汉伟/蔡礼莲
�《你是我最深爱的人》，原唱者：永邦

and here is the result for this week superstar:
Silver: 31
Xin Hui: 41.5 (wth!)
Kelly: 38.5
Kelvin: 39.5 (wow!)
JunYang: 38.5
Derrick: 35.5

funny vid

2005-08-06T15:39:00.000+08:00

cos the previous videos freak out some ppl, here are some funny videos to cheer ppl up :D

Dodge 88 Aries
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/dodge88.html

Four Men Steal Old Ladies Car
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/4stealcar.html

Hot Chick Hitting on a Guy
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/hidefgirl.html

scary

2005-08-04T19:23:00.000+08:00

7 th month is almost here so maybe i will post some scary ghost stories or videos on my blog now. click on this link if u dare!

http://forum.asianbookie.com/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=30&Topic=665008

warning: not for the faint hearted, me got freaked out at first but then i started laughing :D

chio bu

2005-08-03T16:41:00.000+08:00

time for my chio bu of the week section again. i bet some ppl out there can't wait for this post so here goes:

aya hirayama

...

2005-08-01T18:02:00.000+08:00

superstar at imm

2005-07-31T17:50:00.000+08:00

went to imm to watch superstar today. wa lao leh, hell lot of ppl there lor. i reach there 1 hr b4 the thing started but there are already hell lot of fans waiting liao. there are basically 2 grps of fans there, one wearing pink and the other wearing yellow. the yellow camp supports junyang and silver(yay!!! i luv her alot) and the pink camp supports kelly and derrick(i support kelly and derrick too!)

when the clock strike 3, all hell broke loose. everyone suddenly all stand up and start squeezing towards the front. me and my bro make full use of this chaos and force our way to the front too. base on the screams, here are the popularity of the contestants:

1) Derrick(lots of crazy gal fans here, i almost become deaf because of their screeches)
2) kelly(screams not as loud cos of more male fans)
3) Silver!!! and Junyang (the 2 fan clubs combine force)
4) Wei lian
5) shi xin hui
6) jason
7) candyce

it is damn hard to take pics cos of the numerous posters those inconsiderate ppl keep on holding up as well as those other ppl trying to take pics as well. i manage to take some pics too but it turn out very blur as well as very dark. ta ma de, damn sad la. tempers are flying among the different fans and it is very interesting to listen to the scoldings of some. some gal fans near me start scolding those ppl in front not to hold up the posters and block their view. i also scold some foul words too at a retard fatso who keep on waving his bloody fat hand and blocking my view. i serious think tt fatso is a retard lor cos he look and act like one. here are some pics i take:

pardon the poor quality of the pic. i am standing some distance from the stage and it is also quite dark there.

this is the fotos for the events on saturday. all thanks to kelly fan club!

sad but true

2005-07-30T16:07:00.000+08:00

chelski

2005-07-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

i had a great laugh today when i read the straits times sports section today 'poor little rich man'. i think mourinho is quite bastard by saying tt it is a big headache trying to spend the unlimited money provided by abramovich and also to pick the first XI. chelsea has so many awesome first class players tt they can form 2 first teams.

Goalkeeper:Petr Cech Carlo Cudicini
Defenders:Asier Del Horno, John Terry William Gallas, Robert Huth
Ricardo Carvalho, Paulo Ferreira Wayne Bridge, Glen Johnson
Midfield:Robben, Lampard Joe Cole, Tiago, Essien(?)
Makelele,Duff Shaun WrightsPhilip, Geremi
Strikers: Crespo, Gudjohnson Carlton Cole, Drogba

With this 2 teams, i seriously doubt chelsea will have any trouble with injuries next season. maybe mourinho shld split chelsea into 2 and make premier league more exciting by having 2 chelsea teams. hahaha, then it will be just these 2 teams contending for the premier league title and epl will be dominated by blues! hahaha, no offense to the teams sporting red jersey.

chio bu

2005-07-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

hmmm, due to complains from someone, i shld put in nicer pics of chio bu to make up of the lack of quality in the previous post
comments are welcome in the tagbox!

pic

2005-07-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

here is the 2nd chio bu series i am showing
presenting to u aya hirayama and aza maymuu!!

superstar

2005-07-23T20:11:00.000+08:00

i met some of the superstar contestants today!!! wow, i was having dinner at the restaurant when i saw them coming in. they really look very handsome and pretty in real life lor. i met derrick, wei lian, junyang, guo qiang, wei cong and leon(even though he got kicked out) as well as ruth and xin hui. such a pity tt i cannot take pictures cos they are eating. the saddest thing of all is tt kelly, silver and candyce were not with them!! those 3 are the ones tt i really want to see the most. haiz, next time i must really try to see them in real life. the superstars are a noisy bunch lor, making hell lot of noise while ordering their food but it is fun seeing them interacting with each other. all of the contestants really look very good and even xin hui ,whom i previously tot look pretty ugly, look pretty stunning. wei lian look very normal to me also and doesn't seem to be blind at all lor. today is really my lucky day but would be even luckier if i can see kelly and silver, 2 of my fav!

history of middle finger

2005-07-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

Giving the finger
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew". Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! "PLUCK YEW!" Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually hanged to a labiodentals fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction
with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

superstar

2005-07-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

yay! kelly got 40.5 for tonite superstars survival rd! this is the highest score ever achieved and the first to break the 40 barrier. she thrashed all the other female contestants who only got around 31 to 31.5. kelly, u rox!! first time tt i ever vote and i was expecting to hear the voice of kelly but wth, i heard the voice of a guy instead. totally freak me out. kelly must really get into the semi or else i will write a letter to complain.

i think i will start a new section in my blog beside the regular joke section. i will be showcasing pictures of chio bu everyweek to satisfy those horny males visiting my blog and help increase the no. of ppl coming to my blog. hahaha. here is the first pic of this week!

sleep

2005-07-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

hohoho, i think no one can beat me when it come to sleeping now. i sleep for a total of 11 hrs yesterday. an amazing feat isn't it? i was pretty shocked too when i wake up this morning. i was abt to go watch tv when i realise it is 530 am in the morning. from 630 pm to 530 am, wow, damn amazing! i must now try to beat this record now, maybe during the holiday, i will try sleeping for the whole day, 24 hrs straight without eating and doing anything.

i luv the weather nowadays. raining is so bloody good, it make the unbearable hot weather cooler as well as make it so conducive for sleeping. and one good thing abt raining is tt there will be no flag raising in the morning .

sian la, everybody in my class is kao bei-ing how slow i am at reading harry potter. com'on la, wat's wrong wif reading slowly. i spend 40 something dollars on this book and i want to make the most out of it. hmph, i think i will just take my own sweet time reading harry potter now. for those who haven't finis the book, snape is the half blood prince and dumbledore is the one who got killed. too bad for u if u have not read finish yet and chance upon my blog.

more joke

A noob wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the noob to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The noob understood and was ready.

The time came to have the noob jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded him that he would be right behind him. The noob proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the noob.

The noob seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

stomachache

2005-07-18T17:56:00.000+08:00

argh, i am suffering from stomachache for the past 24 hrs already. went to the toilet for dun know how many times in the past hour, stinking up the whole toilet. wa lao, i knew i would be having a stomachache from the vast amt of half cooked food tt i ate during co farewell but wth, it takes one whole day for it to manifest itself. i am so tolerant of pain now tt i can carry on with normal daily chores despite the constant pain in my stomach. i want to see how long i can tahan this but i still hopes tt it will get over soon.

joke
one call costs $5
one tap costs $990
But peanut costs $600000
so please call 1900 112 6888 to help as the toilet bowl need to be gold plated too :D

harry potter

2005-07-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

reading harry potter now, think i will not have time to blog in the next few days so i will post lots of jokes to keep ppl entertained.

jokes

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

Revenge of the Blondes

Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes one-liners?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A: the invitation.

Q: What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
A: A hostage.

Q: What is black and blue and brown, and lying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes

Bad Car Day

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asked.

The man responded, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked, "Are we over the border yet?"

The Code

A mother had three daughters and, on each daughter's wedding, she tells
each one to write back about their married life. To avoid possible
embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love
lives, the mother and daughters agree to use newspaper advertisements as
a "code" to let the mother know how their love lives are going. The
first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives with a
single message, simply: " MAXWEEL COFFEE HOUSE". Mother got the
newspaper and checked the maxwellcoffee house advertisement, and it
says: "Satisfaction to the last drop..." so, mother is happy.
Then the second daughter gets married. After a week, there was a message
that read: "ROTHMAN`S MATTRESSES". So, the mother looks at the Rothman`s mattresses ad, and it says: "FULL SIZE, KING SIZE". And Mother is happy.
Then it was the third one's wedding. Mother was anxious. After four
weeks came the message: "SAUDI AIRLINES". And mother looks in to the
Saudia airlines ad, but this time she fainted.
The ad reads:" THREE TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYES A WEEK, BOTH WAYS."

yakult

2005-07-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

the rj chem department organise a field trip for the j2 this year and my class is lucky enough to go to the yakult factory while other classes go to places like water treatment plant, seage treatment plant, new water plant where u practically see shit.

the factory is pretty cool and the machineries are damn cool too. u can see how the yakult is manufactured and how they are packaged and stuff. i seriously pity the workers there lor who do the same boring stuff over and over again like checking for error in printing or putting in straw.

the highlight of the trip is the manager, mr quek, who claim tt he is a chinese helicopter and a army officer depite looking very short and a bit fat. he is a damn big joker and he spend more time telling us personal stories and wat he feel abt the society than introducing the yakult factory lor. but it is fun to listen to him toking abt stuffs like dun donate to nkf, learn more chinese and even philosophical stuffs like inter personal skills and how to treat workers well. quite entertaining lor.

then after the trip, my fren min jia was so inspired by a comment the manager make abt us being a banana(yellow on the outside, white on the inside = chi acting ang moh) tt we begin to tok abt philosophical things abt banana. we discuss the destiny of banana and whether we shld eat them or not. then we discuss wat will happen to the banana after we ate them. will it recarnate to become a water melon or go to heaven? if it go to heaven, how does it accumulate good karma? these are some of the cock stuffs tt we discuss but it is definitly highly interesting

old fren

2005-07-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

meet my good fren, nick teo today at the swimming final today. it has been almost 2 years since we graduate tt i last seen him. in the end, ended up chatting with him and not really watching the competition but i think rj is winning as most of the swimmers in the competition are from rj and we seem to be winning every events. life in the states seem to be very shiok from wat nick told me and i wish i can also study there too. sry nick for not bringing any chio bus there even though u ask me to :) i can't believe he really train everyday lor, 10 times a week!! wa lao, no wonder he can represent singapore in swimming and be accepted in the university swim team.

the nkf issue is abt to be resolved with the ceo agreeing to withdraw the charges. but i think no one will really want to donate to nkf after this incident. wat make this even more infuriating is the fact tt goh chok tong wife say tt 600,000 is only peanuts!!!! bloody hell, if i have tt much money a year, i won't be studying tt hard liao. there are many ppl in singapore who can only earn a fraction of tt amt. this is so infuriating. no more money for nkf liao, i think i will just donate to president charity or ren ci instead.

joke

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

And off they go.

At the White House, Clinton spots Bubb on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome.

Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"

betting

2005-07-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

singaporean is really too addicted to gambling liao. now the result of the huang na law suit is even up for betting. the odds is as follow:

death penalty for ah hao: 100 for 80
escape death penalty: 90 for 100

hmmm, in my opinion, i will bet ah hao will escape death penalty cos he is represented by the famous subhas lawyer who can get almost anyone out of anything.

there is another law suit tt caught my attention. i can't believe the nkf ceo earn a bloody $55000 a year and his bonus is 12 months!! wa lao, now i know where the donators money went to now.... i think i will cut down my donation to nkf now so tt not much will go into the hands of the ceo anymore.

kk, i need to go bet on the huang na case now. money money here i come

funny

2005-07-12T16:31:00.000+08:00

haha, heard a damn funny joke today, urm actually shld be called a damn funny sarcastic remark.

liang king(zhen chang) was talking abt how he lost 6 kg during the holiday....
then suddenly someone make a comment and ask whether it is because he shave or not.
this is damn bloody funny as most ppl know tt liang king is not called hairy liang for nothing and so this appear to be damn funny

bleach

2005-07-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

some cool bleach wallpapers i found :)

superstar rubbish

2005-07-08T19:38:00.000+08:00

wa lao, superstar is damn rubbish. i can believe the 2 people i seriously rooted for got kicked out. i seriously think that both derrick and kelly will get into the next round of superstar lor. ta ma de, people must be really blind. i can't believe they actually let 2 of the lowest score get into the next round. kelly got the highest and got kiked out, basket. i can only hope next week this kind of thing better not happen again. i am rooting for silver and wei lian and they better get into the next round. sigh, can only hope tt derrick and kelly will get back into the show thru the revival rd.

i think i am turning into a bleach mania already. i dl the anime, buy the manga, dl the manga too! i think if there is bleach merchandise, i think i will buy them too :)

yoohoo

2005-07-07T19:18:00.000+08:00

crespo is coming back to chelsea after loan to ac milan after chelsea fail in his bid for world class strikers such as adriano and david trezeguet. sigh, chelsea is seriously damn unlucky and this prove one thing tt money is not everything. gerrard is now out of the picture and barca has turn down a 54.5 million bid for ronaldinho. maybe essien or Shaun Wright-Phillips will come make chelsea midfield even stronger but i think they will definitely cost a lot since other clubs like to exploit chelsea unlimited budget. haha, maybe chelsea will fork out 100 million to buy ronaldinho and the buy out clause will not even stop us :D

sch is damn sian lor, me no mood to study. i am reading manga during all my lessons lor and this sianess has spread to many. many of my classmates are bringing manga to read in sch liao.

joke
A girl phoned me the other day and said ...."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

ct

2005-07-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

ok, i am damn bloody pissed today. the main culprit is the stupid ct results. i got A A A B and even though this result may seem awesome to most, i am just damn pissed wif it. the B is for biology, a subject tt i spend the most time on during the holiday. i think i spend half of the time mugging bio while for the rest of the subjects, i just spend one 2 days per sub. i dun even care much abt phy and math, finishing them in 2 days. so bloody hell, i can conclude tt time u spend on mugging is inversly proportional to the marks i get. hmmm, maybe i shld try not studying at all and see whether i can get all A. hahaha, tt is stupid.

watch war of the world today so as to forget abt the stupid bio test(oh yea, bio ct2 is one of the easiest and 16 in my class got A, wtf y i get such dismal result). the movie itself is pretty good until the ending. okok, the movie follow the book closely and it is quite logical but it is so anti climax!!! the stupid aliens just died becos of diseases and stuff. i think the aliens look pretty cute though and the tripods machines look damn cool.

things learn from the movie:
1) dun get near the hero aka Tom Cruise, u will be vaporised while he will miraculously find a path out of all those troubles
2) the hero vehicle will be left untouched no matter how much destruction is there and there will always be a clear path wide enough for the car to drive thru
3) dun fight against a angry mob unless u got a gun and back away at the earliest moment cos u dun know who else has the gun too
4) discipline yur daughter and son so tt the daughter won't scream so much and the son won't be tt dumb to want to see a war zone
5) if yur son get lost, just make a wish tt he will appear somewhere(e.g. boston) and wa la, he will be right there (even though he went into a war zone where everyone gets vaporised)
6) keep a few grenades nearby or steal from a soldiers when u r in trouble, u never know when u can use it and how effective they are.
7) if u r planning to invade another planet, for god sake, study tt planet carefully!!!! i can't believe tt the aliens observe the earth for thousand of years and they never wonder why man will fall sick. they got so much time, they shld not leave out any details at all!!! they must have not look at the hospitals
8) be a japanese or be in japan. either they are damn smart or they are just plain suicidal cos they manage to take down a few tripods which apparently can only be destroyed from the inside. but knowing the past of the japanese, they will do it anyway( think kamikaze)

i like Tom Cruise, his acting very good and damn, he can stand the screaming of the stupid gal.

joke

A Pessimist's view to proverbs

The journey of a thousand miles begins� with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows� and a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone!

If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge" is group.

Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.

Just remember... You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car!

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.

It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel...it's cheaper than plastic surgery.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.

chelsea

2005-07-05T16:47:00.000+08:00

haha, good news, steven gerrard may be coming for chelsea. chelsea has just made a bid of 32 million and i think this temptation is very hard for gerrard to resist :) if gerrard comes to chelsea, chelsea midfield will be too awesome already. imagine gerrard and lampard in the central with makelele and arjen robbern flanking the sides, omg, this is a dream come true. if gerrard really comes to chelsea, jose mourinho next challenge would be getting one good striker like adriano and chelsea would be the perfect soccer team!!!

i seriously admire jose mourinho even though he is really full of rubbish. he is very ego but tt is wat make him so interesting and 'special'. i hope he can stay in chelsea forever and bring more trophies. hope to see more interesting remark from him next season :P

joke
1. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

2. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

3. A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

4. A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them world wide.

5. A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

6. A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported on the numbers

7. AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

8. A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre. Then midway, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now wants RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

9. A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. One cow-peh and one cow-bu.

bleach

2005-07-03T10:42:00.000+08:00

yay! i finally gotten myself Bleach manga! spend 80 bucks(16 books) altogether and now i am seriously broke. hahaha, now my youth day will be spent reading the bleach manga. bleach is seriously damn good. i like the storyline very much and the characters are way cool.

bleach is about a normal high sch kid, Kurosaki Ichigo(the guy with orange hair in my blog) who has spirit power to see ghosts and spirits. then he meet a shinigami(death god), Rukia Kuchiki who save his family from attack by hollow(evil spirit) but got herself injured in the end. she transfer her power to him and so ichigo become a death god to save his family and protect them from hollow. this story may seem very stupid to many, just another manga and anime depicting a hero killing monster. however there is a twist to the story. rukia got arrested and taken back to the soul society(place where the shinigami live) and will be executed. this is where all the fun begin. ichigo go to the soul society to save rukia. he need to get into the fortress of the shinigami, fight 13 captains and their platoons and save rukia. all the captains are insanely strong and there seem to be another dark plot going on when one of the captain got slain.

bleach is indeed a very good anime and manga, i am glad tt i did not drop it halfway or else i will lose out so much. if u want to read bleach online, go here: http://www.directmanga.com/series/bleach.html

jokes
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or
378 million according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times that normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even NINE of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000
tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's
atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his
bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's in pretty bad shape now.

idols

2005-07-02T18:31:00.000+08:00

hohoho, i have found myself a new idol and he is Jacky Wu, 吴宗宪. i seriously think he is a very talented person lor, can crack so many jokes and have so many funny antics. i enjoy watching his variety shows a lot e.g. guess. he and ah ya and yang cheng ling really liven up the whole show. i like his subtle yellow jokes a lot such as "how u tell the gender of a cockroach? squash it and u will hear two pop sounds for male..." i was laughing like mad when i hear this but the audience in the show doesn't seem to get it. no wonder they put this show so late at nite(1130pm channel u fri) this show definitely not suitable for young kids. sigh, when will mediacorp produce a variety show of this standard. mark lee is definitely not in the same league as jacky wu. guess i need to depend on taiwan entertainment shows for entertainment then.

another good taiwan host is xiao zhu, luo zhi xiang. he is really funny. i luv his role as kia kia in entertainment 100%. 我是kia kia, kia kia 是我. hahaha, i really like his superb lame jokes. i really want to be as amusing as him :D

jokes
On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to Earth and heard by millions. But just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark:

"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows.

His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.
"Sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

can anyone tell me whether this is true or not?

free!

2005-07-01T17:42:00.000+08:00

yoohoo!!! ct is finally over. no more mugging!!!(temporary.......) cool man, finally can take a break n dota and watch animes like mad.

went out today with liang king, ming jing and kp. qisheng and gary ask me to go dota wif them but i decline. com'on, i got warcraft installed, y shld i waste money going to lan when i can dota at home at no cost at all! played a few games of pool, pretty shitty cos lady luck not on our side. first game bloody hell got the white ball in along wif the black ball when it is damn obvious we are winning. me and ming jing played pretty well but still lost a few games. haha, luck is really impt. but got one damn good game where we totally owned liang king and kp.

after pool, we went to p.s to eat dessert and talk crap. the truth is tt we got chased out cos liang king did not have cv. as usual wif liang king and mj around, the main topic of our conversation is mainly on gals and numerous sick stuffs. if wat we said is censored, u would not be able to catch a single word of wat we say for the whole day. quite fun to tok abt this kind of crap la since i not tt innocent either :D

sigh, for no reason my leg start hurting again and so i went home early. i am not a gossip monger so dun ask me who kp went out wif at 5 pm(apparently someone still has common test until 430 and so explain the time) if u want to know more details, just ask me in secret and depending on my mood, i may leak out some details :D hahahaha

yawn, quite tired now. hmmm, i want to go watch war of the world and initial D. i got one big initial D poster as well as the T-shirt and the poster is really cool! got it from the movie promotion and the poster is one of those few tt show the whole cast :) most other posters only show one person only.

Indian vs Chinese movies
Things You Would Never Know Without Indian Movies
1. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2. The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine(vice versa) unless they first perform a dance number in the rain.
3. Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.
4. Two lovers can be dancing in the field and out of nowhere, 100 people will appear from god-knows-where and joins them in the dance.
5. In the final scene, the hero will discover that the bad guy who he is up against is actually his brother and the maid who looked after him is his mother and the chief inspector is his father and the Judge is his uncle and so forth.
6. Key English words used in the movie (usually said out loud Between sentences) are No Problem!, My God!, Get Out!, Shut-up!, Impossible!, please forgive me!
7.They drop down on grounds and roll and roll while singing and come out with different clothings.
8.They can run around the coconut trees, singing, battling eyes-lid, and throwing glances at each other and change clothes all at the same time without being out of breath.

Things You Would Never Know Without Chinese Swordsman Movies
1. Being the hero's parents will always be unlucky and will usually be killed by enemies when the hero is young, and the hero will orphan.
2. When a man is wounded and dying, he always manage to catch his breath and speak a few sentences to reveal the killer before dropping his head and declared dead.
3. Skilled people are able to fly over roof tops, up trees and across distances without any sweat. But when travelling to towns and villages, they still have to walk or ride horses.
4. The heroes need not have to work for money, but will always have golds and silvers with them to pay for their dishes.
5. The heroes and villains will meet each other very often no matter how big the country is and no matter where they are.
6. Healing internal wounds in the body is as easy as sitting down cross-legged, palms on the knees and smoke coming out from the head.
7. They can keep a lot of stuff in their sleeves and waistband and never drop them (carrying especially lots of those gold and silver ingots)

math

2005-06-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

alamak, i wasted my chance of getting 200 bucks. hahaha, i made a bet wif kp, qisheng and others tt i finish the 3 hrs math paper withing 2 hrs and shout out "FINISH" then slam the paper on the table. i managed to finish the paper within 2 hrs though but being such a good innocent boy tt i am, i do not have the courage to shout FINISH. damn i shld have done it, it is really worth it. sigh, blame it on my hum ji ness la.

yay! tmr is the last paper, chem! hope chem will be a easy(i seriously doubt this, when is there a easy rj chem paper) going to play pool tmr, me can't wait :)

one more thing. there is a nkf cancer charity advertisement tt has been bugging me. it is abt chew chow meng acting as his famous role "the lobang king". wat is so irritating abt this advertisement is tt wat on earth is he thinking when he put on his ear piece (when it is definitely not connected to the phone) and pick up his phone to listen at the same time. wth is he trying to show?? i think it is damn dumb lor. ok la, there are some good advertisements which i think is pretty creative. one is the guy sticking scotch tape on his tv set and the other one is the same guy sabotaging his frens phone. those 2 are pretty good, in my own opinion.

2 days

2005-06-29T13:22:00.000+08:00

2 days, 2 more subjects and i will be free!

isn't this cute....

jokee

2005-06-28T10:29:00.000+08:00

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!''

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

cts

2005-06-27T18:24:00.000+08:00

argh! this is the worst bio cts ever! i made so many mistakes in the mcq section, ggxx. hope the next few papers will be easy
the only good thing is tt i got a new cd player! haha, the stereo is pretty good, now i can blast music in my room :D

joke
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, ''Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves.''

fickle minded

2005-06-26T18:52:00.000+08:00

hahaha, i am so fickle minded. now i got another blog template, this time is Bleach!!! yea man, this skin looks freaking cool but not really tt original since quite a lot of ppl have the same skin as mine. the previous template on suikoden is pretty ok la, if u did not see tt then too bad for u. maybe i will change back to tt if i feel like it.

hmm, today is the last day of the june break( i will not say holiday cos it is not a holiday at all! no ps2 for me :( ) one more week and then common test will be over!!! sigh, can't wait for tt day to arrive.

funny pic 2

2005-06-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: i will not be responsible for any deaths caused by this pic

lalala

2005-06-25T11:06:00.000+08:00

男人不喝醉，女人没小费。
女人不喝醉，男人没机会。
男女不喝醉，酒店没人睡。
男女都喝醉，睡醒不知谁。
by 康康

funny pic

2005-06-25T10:38:00.000+08:00

New template

2005-06-24T16:15:00.000+08:00

yay! a brand new template for my blog. i hope everyone will like this template. this template is on one of my favourite PS2 game, Suikoden. i have tried looking for templates on final fantasy but most of them are too lousy or i just dun like them.

SA spurs finally win the NBA final! hohoho, my prediction will never be wrong. it is a pretty close fight but in the end Spurs win by 81-74. heard tt manu ginobli is pretty guai lan towards the end of the game. he receive a long pass in the box and not attempting a dunk or a lay up, he dribble outside the circle. detroits getting frustrated, commited a foul and ginobli gets 2 free throws.
the star of the match shld be Tim Duncan. despite 8 straight misses, he manage to show wat solid stuff he is made of in the 4th quarter and together with ginobli, help spurs overcome a 9 pt deficit. he is definitely the MVP of the match!

superstar

2005-06-24T10:43:00.000+08:00

after watching the results of jue dui superstar, i feel very indignant for contestant F3. she got the second highest score from the judges but why is she kicked out?! i always think tt she may make it to the next few stages cos her singing is really good. sigh, i think the reason must be cos she is too skinny and so doesn't have the appeal to attract votes, but come to think of it, stephanie sun is also very skinny wat and yet so popular. luckily the blind superstar, wei lian, is still in the competition. i hope he return to his previous stds and be more natural then he will be able to touch the hearts of many ppl.

i just read the news and i can't believe AC just rejected chelsea bid of 85million euro(73million + hernan crespo)!!!! they are mad la but if shevchenko come to chelsea, chelsea will be unbeatable lor. everybody is taking advantage of chelsea unlimited wealth lor and i seriously hate it. first is lyon, demanding so much for essien. then is tottenham, kao bei-ing so much abt arnesen. screw them la, chelsea will still get their wishes in the end.

haha, i am now trying to find a new template for my blog but still can't find a good one. hope to be able to find one on bleach!

joke
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

homo

2005-06-23T15:45:00.000+08:00

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey for himself. The bartender looks at him and says, " Are you out of your mind? I cant give you all that booze, I will end up losing my liquor license. "To that the man replied, "Please, do it for me just this one time, I just found out my son is gay." The bartender gave the guy a hard look and said "OK, but just this one time and that's it, never again." The man agreed and as fast as the bartender poured the shots the guy slammed them down.

A week later the same guy walked into the same bar and asked the same bartender for 10 more shots of whiskey. The bartender said "Woah, I thought last week we agreed that this was never going to happen again." The guy replied, "Please do it just one more time for me, I swear this will be the last time........I just found out my other son was gay." Again the bartender gives the guy a hard look and says, "OK, but this is absolutely the last time." The guy agreed and again he slammed all 10 shots as fast as the bartender could pour them.

A week later the same guy walked into the same bar and asked the same bartender yet again for 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender looked at the guy and said "Jesus Christ man, doesn't anyone in your family like women?!!?!!"

The guy says "Yeah, my wife"

i seriously pity the guy in this joke.

old days

2005-06-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

this is most probably wat u did way back in the early and mid 90's

50 things to show tt u grow up in Singapore

1. You grew up watching He-man, Transformers, Silver hawk and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles and Smurfs too.
2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug. The teachers said you must brush each side 10 times too.
3. You know what's Bin(1) Fen(1) Ba (1) San(1) is all about. dun ask me wat is this, i dun know
4. You know what SBC stands for.
5. You were there when the first chinese serial, the Awakening was shown on TV.
6. Internet? What the hell is that? So you thought a decade or more ago.
7. You find your friends with pagers and handphone cool in Secondary school.
8. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of wood and the cushion is red. The big red bell gives a loud BEEEP! when pressed. There are colourful tickets for TIBS buses. The conductor will check for tickets by using a machine which punches a hole on the ticket.
9. Your favourite actor and actress is Huang Wenyong and Xiangyun. Next is Lee Nanxing and Zoe Tay and the Aiyoyo woman.
10. You've probably read Young Generation magazine. You know who's Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.
11. You were there when they first introduced MRT here. You went for the first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat to see the scenery.
12. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.
13. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.
14. You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street.
15. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka(20 cents per pack) and Ding Dang(50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes every week not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, where the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.
16. You watched TV2(also known as Channel 10) cartoons because Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.
17. All that you know about Cantonese is from the Hong Kong serials you watched on TV2.
18. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven are probably the thickest story books you ever thought you have read. Even SweetValley High and Malory Towers.
19. Civics and Moral Education was "Hao3 Gong1 Min2".
20. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that serve food in plates and let you use metal forks and knives.
21. The most vulgar thing you said was ******* and idiot and THE MOST EXTREME WAS 'super white'...you just couldn't bring yourself to say the hokkien relative.
22. Catching was the IN thing and twist the magic word.
23. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow.
24. CDIS was your best friend. wat is CDIS!!???
25. The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellised characters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you maths.
26. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhere you go.
27. Boys loved to play soccer with small tennis balls in the basketball court or play something that uses tennis ball to hit other players known as "HUM TAM BOLA" during recess /after school
28. Hopskotch, five stones,chateh and zero point were all the rage with the girls and boys too... 29. Science was fun with the balsam and the angsana being the most important plants of our lives.
30. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, eternalized in our minds from the textbooks. Even Mr Willy.
31. You did stupid exercises like seal crawl and frog jumps.
32. Every children's day and national day you either get pins or pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb files with Happy National Day 1994'.
33. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the younger kids like big sister and brother.
34. Chinese teachers were always old, boring and damn fierce looking.
35. Your form teacher taught you maths, science and english.
36. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.
37. You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained, and you find a dry spot in the school to sit down, dry your feet, and wear your dry and warm socks and shoes.
38. Famous Chinese singers were only Jacky Cheung, Andy Lau, Aaron Kwok and Leon Lai.
39. School dismissal time was normally around 1 pm.
40. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost everyday.
41. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $3 or more for pocket money everyday.
42. During class gatherings, parents always tag along in case someone gets lost at Orchard Road. 43. You freak out when the teacher tells you to line up according to height and hold hands with the corresponding boy or girl.
44. Handkerchiefs were a must for both genders
45. Collecting notebooks and all kinds of stationery was a popular thing.
46. Autograph books were loaded with "Best Wishes", "Forget Me Not", and small poems like "Bird fly high, hard to catch. Friend like you, hard to forget".
47. Class monitors and prefects loved to say You talk somemore, I write your name ah!"
48. There were at least 40 people in one class.
49. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.
50. You brought every single book to school, even though there was one thing called the timetable.

SAT

2005-06-21T15:03:00.000+08:00

the june sat result has came out and apparently some people are jealous of how easy the june paper is. let me quote from one of my fren, a self acclaimed elitist and we shall call him mj to protect his privacy(it is not michael jackson, mind u).

this is from his blog:
NEWSFLASH
The SAT results for June have just been released and according to a report compiled by an anonymous source, the average scores for this batch have seen a surge of 200 points over the last batch which took the reasoning test in May. Analysts have attributed this phenomenon to various factors. First, it has been said that this test was by far the easiest test set by Collegeboard examiners, as some people have lodged complaints that Collegeboard tests, being too demanding, have deprived many of a chance to enter a reputable University. In addition, many of the Collegeboard markers have tendered their resignation in the last month, citing poor working conditions as a push factor. Such has prompted the authorities to hire close to 100 fresh graduates who are arguably amateurish and lenient. One of them was reported to have said "We can't be too strict...or else we might receive marching orders when people write in..."

Yet another factor suggested was the possible collusion between candidates. Invigilation has been very lax in various testing centres and candidates have been permitted to cheat openly. In one case, a tip received by one of our journalists revealed that 3 candidates who took the reasoning test at Anderson Junior College exchanged answers blatantly during the examination and were even bragging about it after the actual event.

When our reporter spoke to one of the top scholars in the test this time round, Miss Y.L. Tan, she had this to say. When asked about her impeccable, albeit suspect, score of 2390, she was taken aback and seemed shocked that news had spread like wildfire. After further prompting by our journalist, she merely gave a curt, evasive reply of "anyway tycoed lah okay.", which smacked of substandard English and hinted that something was amiss and sinister. Could it really be just Lady Luck dealing everyone a good hand?

To try to delve into this matter deeper and resolve it, we had a correspondence with Collegeboard via e-mail, who also expressed concern over this matter. To quote them, "This is indeed very strange...never before have we seen such an anomaly". When pressed, Collegeboard promised to look into the matter, but added a clause, or rather a caution. "Due to the intrinsic innate inefficiency of our organisation, we cannot promise that anything will come out of this investigation". Essentially, that means that the candidates who have indeed committed such misdemeanours might eventually get away scot-free. This writer can only lament the demise of justice.

Disclaimer: All characters, plots and activities are completely fictional and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

*This is what some Chinese fogey who wrote the Chinese version of Aesop's fables would say..."Chi bu dao pu tao, jiu shuo pu tao shi suan de". Literally translated, it means "cannot eat grape, then say grape is sour".

i must say he is really good at suaning ppl and i seriously wonder y his essay for SAT only get 8. with this kind of standard, he shld get 12.
now let us take a look at his second para, he is obviously hinting at somebody and i think i am one of the ppl mentioned. check my previous post which outline how this is done and thus prove wat mj say is true. i hope the collegeboard ppl doesn't happen to look at my blog or mj's blog or else we might get into big trouble. imagine the headline of tmr news "students from premier jc in bishan and ang mo kio area admitted cheating in prestigious examination"

for those who are interested, my SAT score is 2210(750,800,660). i am at first quite satisfied with the score but i soon realise tt this score is one of the lowest in the class. wat can i say, my class is really full of talented ppl.

no joke for today. the quote is already quite funny. if u want to see the actual post, just click on one of the link to see.

sin

2005-06-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Sloth: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 0%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/">How Sinful Are You?

i will go to heaven for sure!!!!!! me not sinful at all. where can u find a perfect person like me... me an angel!

2005-06-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: January 26

Your birth on the 26th day of the month (8 energy) modifies your life by increasing your capability to function and succeed in the business world.
In this environment you have the skills to work very well with others thanks to the 2 and 6 energies combining in this date.
There is a marked increase in organizational, managerial, and administrative abilities.

You are efficient and handle money very well.
You're ambitious and energetic, while generally remaining cooperative and adaptable.
You are conscientious and not afraid of responsibility.

Generally sociable and diplomatic, you tend to use persuasion rather than force.
You have a wonderful combination of being good at both the broad strokes and the fine detail; good at starting and continuing. This birthday is practical and realistic, often seeking material satisfaction.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

hahaha, i am pretty bored. doing these online quiz to pass time

age

2005-06-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

You Are 15 Years Old

15

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/">What Age Do You Act?

sian

2005-06-20T16:10:00.000+08:00

life has reached the pinnacle of sianness. nth to do at home, scv preview channel is gone, now stuck wif stupid mediacorp channel. sian la, dun want to study liao, mind too saturated liao. i want to go out and slack!!!

ok, spurs win game 5! 97-96. robert horry sinking in a 3 pointer wif 5.8 seconds left hand the spurs the win. a close match indeed, leading on to extra time. hope we can get to see more of these in game 6.

oh yea, found 2 fun online games to play
1) http://www.compfused.com/directlink/644/ my highscore is 88 while my bro is 94. try to beat tt
2)http://www.miniclip.com/heliattack3.htm a brand new version of heliattack. very fun but damn hard too. manage to complete it in the end :)

jokes
Embarrassed
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and says tentatively, "Excuse me, I am sorry to bother you, but - um - would you mind very much if I sat here and chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Devastated, the guy manages to rise to his feet and slinks back to a table in the back. As you can imagine, he is hopelessly and completely embarrassed. He sinks down into his seat as far as he can go, trying to become invisible. About a half-hour later, the woman who so loudly rejected him walks to his table and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm really very sorry I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology. I am conducting a study of how people respond to embarrassing situations." The shy fellow, who is still shaking from his ordeal, looks up from his drink for the first time in 30 minutes. He gazes into the woman's eyes and smiles. Then at the top of his lungs he yells, "What do you mean $200?!?!"

face off

2005-06-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

due to sheer luck and sheer boredom, i managed to switch to the preview channel and watch the movie face-off. john travolta and nicholas cage acted in this movie n i must say they are damn good actors. the movie is abt the cop, sean archer(john travolta) changing his face wif castrol troy(nicholas cage) in order to find out the location of a bomb. castrol woke up and and take over the identity of archer, killing everyone who know the operation. then the movie is abt how archer breaking out of the prison and trying to take back his face. wow,the action in the movie is really cool, explosion, gunfight and finally a boat chase. damn cool. this movie make this sun afternoon exciting. hope there will be lots of good movie on the preview channel just like today face off and last week hot chick. dun need to go watch movie anymore lor.

jokes
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mother-in-laws.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, Son.

internet

2005-06-18T10:28:00.000+08:00

in order to prove tt i am not like the ordinary teenager who is hooked to the internet, i decided to bet wif my mum tt i can survive one day wifout my phone and the com. i survive this ordeal thru my perserverence and self control n now i am 10 dollar richer! haha, it is really hard to survive a day wifout internet n phone, but at least i can concentrate more on my studies. but in the end, i spend most of time watching tv :p.

yay, saw lin chiling interview on tv yesterday. omg, she got such a sexy voice! then i read in lian he wan bao tt she plans to take artistic nude xie zhen ji(impt parts will be covered). hope it will be sold in singapore. i will definitely go and buy.

jokes
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife and I are inseparable.
In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.

batman

2005-06-16T18:05:00.000+08:00

hohoho, finally went out of the hse after a few days of intense mugging at home. watched batman begins wif shan and qing. wah, batman begins really rox! best batman movie i ever seen, the rest like batman forever n batman n robin are total crap.

the movie starts off wif the childhood of bruce wayne where he fell into a well n got a trauma wif bats. then it show bruce in a chinese prison where he is trying to learn the evil side of human nature( i think he is pretty dumb to try this )
i think i will not go on wif the story liao, as most ppl most likely haven't watch the movie yet. this movie definitely worth the 4 stars in Straits Times. one more thing, i am totally in luv wif the batmobile, The Tumbler. it is a bloody cool car. i swear i must own a car which look like tt in the future.

today Strait Times Life section is very nice!!! cos Lin Chiling is on the front cover!!! Lin Chiling is so chio, i think i can stare at her pic forever. wah, she is 1.74m tall(same height as me!) and her figure is 34C-24-36. she is really the perfect woman, wonderful bod plus wonderful face. must really keep the newspaper n admire the pic :) dun get mistaken, me no pervert. this is just appreciation of the opposite sex. really i swear. at least this show tt i am straight n not gay :p

2005-06-16T17:47:00.000+08:00

Numbered Jokes

On his first day, a newcomer to prison heard the other inmates roar with laughter each time one of them called out a number. Mystified by this, he asked his cellmate what was happening. “We know all our jokes so well that, to save time retelling them, we’ve numbered them,” he was told. Thinking he would join in, the newcomer shouted “208.” To his amazement, the whole prison shook with laughter. The cellmate wiped tears from his eyes and commented, “We hadn't heard that one before.”

Organic Vegetables

Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the produce market." said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man, asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The gardener said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.'"

anime

2005-06-15T10:51:00.000+08:00

time to do a stock check on the anime i dl. :)

Whole series
Fullmetal Alchemist
Fullmetal Panic
Fullmetal Panic Fumoffu
.Hack Dusk
.Hack Liminality
Fruits Basket
Trigun
Gungrave
Kenran Butoh Sai
Interlude
Samurai 7
Samurai Champloo
Last Exile
You R under Arrest Live Action
Macross Zero

Not completed
Bleach
Basilisk
Eureka 7
Mar
Monster
My Hime
Rahxephon
School Rumble
Sunabouzu
Trinity Blood
Tsubasa
Aquarion
Futakoi Alternative
Speed Grapher
Erementar Gerad
and many more many more

all these anime is 39.7 Gb in my com + 38 CDs
for those wif information on where to dl Basilisk n Sunabouzu(they got licensed, damn it), pls inform me how. i can always use mIRC to dl :)
if u want to borrow any of the anime, u can just ask me

banana

2005-06-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

This is interesting. After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again. Explain y i like to eat banana so much

Bananas.
Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood. Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives,
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,"eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

jokeee

2005-06-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

1)A teacher wanted to demonstrate the ill effects of alcohol to her students. She took two cups, one filled with water and the other with whiskey. In each cup, she immersed an earthworm. The earthworm in water survived....the one in whiskey died. She then asked the class "kids, what does this tell you about the effects of alcohol?"

Tommy raised his hand and replied "it tells us that if we drink alcohol, we will not have worms in our guts".

2)The film crew was filming a documentary on longevity. They came across this guy who looked like he was close to 100 years old. This guy had white thin hair, looked haggard and with all the signs of an super senior citizen. The film crew decided to interview him..... Film crew: Sir, can you please tell us your secret to your long life? Old man: Each day, smoke 3 packs, drink 2 bottles of vodka and don't exercise. Film crew: This is amazing! And exactly how old are you, sir? Old man: 27.

songs

2005-06-13T15:09:00.000+08:00

continuing my jap frenzy, i am now addicted to jap songs. i am now trying hard to dl songs by savage genius(not savage garden, mind u) cos i luv the voice of the female lead singer :) which is so heavenly. j pop is so nice!!!

spurs win the second game of NBA final!! i always like Spurs since i started playing NBA. Manu Ginobli score 27 pts as Spurs win Pistons 97-76. good job Ginobli! Tim Duncan also played well n score 18 pts. hope Spurs can continue this winning streak and wrap up the series within 4 games.

tv

2005-06-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

haha, i am having a tv frenzy this weekend. from tv serials i dl to tv serials on tv, i think i have spent quite a lot of hours on them :) finally get to watch You R Under Arrest Live Action which i have dl 6 months ago. it is a very funny show abt 2 traffic policewomen who do a lot of rash n reckless stuffs to solve crimes. wat is even better abt the show is tt the whole police station is made up of entirely policewomen, haha definitely a very good show for us guys ;) haha, i think i will spend more time watching the show than studying now.

sigh, today is the last episode of waterboys. pretty sad tt such a great show has came to an end. y is jap tv drama so short!!!! only 12 episodes only n i think jap drama is one of the best drama i ever seen. the show ended wif a bang, wif an amazing performance by the 32 guys. sigh, now i hoped the next jap drama will be this exciting. i hope it won't be some korean drama though. dun quite like those mushy love romance stuff(haha, i have watched quite a few k drama though)

didn't update yesterday cos i went to grandma hse to celebrate her bday. haha, end up playing fatal frames wif my cousins. we were all screaming n shouting when the ghosts appear. haha, then my cousins were pushing the controller towards each other, not really want to play the horrifying n mortifying game. beside tt, we were toking abt my cousin attempt at jue dui superstar. too bad she got kicked out at the first rd though but it is still pretty interesting listening to her exp. went to a restaurant to eat n we continue cocking around again. i luv this kind of gathering wif my cousins. we always sit together at one table n we 9 ppl will always get to eat 10 ppl share :)

jokes of the day
Haircuts
WOMEN: Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
(... and on and on for the next 3 hours..)

MEN:
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.

mugging

2005-06-10T16:36:00.000+08:00

intense mugging has finally begun!!! actually not really intense la, still stoning around in my home, watching anime and occasionally flipping thru the notes. hmmmm, was studying industrial biotech which i know nuts abt it. haha, at least now i know some of the processes abt cleaning oil spill n stuff. but let's think abt it, wth do we need to study abt cleaning oil spill! i dun think any of us will be going to be environmentalist in the future, caring abt our precious environment. sigh, this show how much rubbish singaporean students are studying. the stuffs tt we study are totally useless when we go out to work( i rmb some surverys have proven this fact).

haha, enough of singapore education system. there are enough ppl lambasting abt our education system already :) i think the only memorable thing tt happen today is tt i finish dl bleach episode 35. this anime series is coming to a climax already, can't wait to get the next episode. ichigo will be facing the 11th squad captain while Chad will be facing the 8th squad captain! bleach is now my 2nd most fav anime!!!(FMA will always be the 1st)

joke of the day
One day, the queen of the jungle gathered the animals, and told them. Each animal must tell a joke, if someone does not laugh, the joker will be executed. So, monkey told a very funny joke. All the animals laughed and rolled about, except tortoise. So, monkey was executed. Next, rabbit, told a joke, and tortoise, again was unmoved. So rabbit's fate was sealed. Interestingly, when rabbit's head was chopped off, tortoise suddenly burst into laughter and laughed till he cried. The bewildered animals asked what happened. Tortoise choked and said. Monkey's joke is damn funny!

ns

2005-06-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

went for ns medical checkup today... quite fun actually la. met 2 frens at cmpb, shao wei and anand b. first stop, urine n blood test. lucky didn't pee in the morning, if not dun know how to do the urine test :D then went for dental, eye and ear check up and then the normal x ray. wasted a long long time waiting for consultation though. damn, shld have taken the queue no. b4 going for the ecg check. sian lor, i waited for at least an hour. checkup is pretty cock, i was cocking around wif the mo there. joking around wif them. haha, then they were discussing which cat to put me in. they wanted to put me in f but then i am not low IQ person. so in the end , i ended up in some funny category which is pes E9L9. physically unfit but fit for clerical duty. sigh, i dun want to waste 2 glorious years of my life as clerk. hmmm, i realise i am a pretty big liar. i anyhow fill in the survey form such as saying ns is not a waste of time n all those bullshit.

after the stupid check up which wasted abt 4 hrs of time, i went to my grandma hse. haha, i have quite a lot of fun playing ps2 wif my cousins. we were playing fatal frame 2, a really scary n horrifying game which is not for the faint hearted. there is a warning saying tt it is not advisory for ppl wif heart problem to play this game. can really tell how scary the game is so we 3 big guys decided to play together. haha, we blasted the sound and wth, it is really damn scary. u r this gal going around a haunted village wif ur twin sis, using a camera as yur only weapon. the camera obscura can exorcise ghosts and u r suppose to take various pics of ghosts... i seriously find the game quite fun. must borrow it from my cousin.

joke of the day
A lawyer was helping a poor old widow settle her husband's estate. Upon completion of the job, he charged her $100. She opened her purse and took out one of the few remaining contents, a one hundred dollar bill. After he left, the attorney discovered that the bill had another $100 stuck to it. Immediately, he was faced with an ethical dilemma -
whether or not to tell his partner.

2005-06-08T15:25:00.000+08:00

yawn... just woke up from afternoon nap. ahhh, the feeling is so shiok, feeling so energized now. can't believe i manage to study finish thermodyn, feeling a sense of accomplishment, hahaha. sian lor, quite bored at home, bored until i am studying liao. sigh, this is the first hol when i did not open my ps2 to play. all the fault of common test. i still need to complete metal gear solid 3, grand theft auto: san adreas, stars ocean n many other games. hmmm, i shld not think of those games anymore, the temptation is too gr8 and i dun think i can resist them any further.

jokes of the day
Q: Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
A: Madrid.

Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them

Q: When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
A: When it isn't raining

Q: Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
A: Because they are always practising

dota

2005-06-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm, just dota-ed a few games, still can feel the rush of adrenaline. dota seems highly enjoyable when u r on the winning team. haha, totally own the opposite team just now even though our kills death ratio is abt the same. the final push was wat give us the win. everyone is working so finely together, foiling 2 ambushes and finally taking out the last few raxes. hahaha. okok no more talking abt dota, bet most ppl will be jealous :)

sian, today another fine day for stoning. luv this kind of cloudy weather, perfect for sleeping. blasting some jap music now, nth to do, nth to write. can feel my enthusiasm for blogging begin waning. oh yea, i just have another idol, Aya Hirayama. she acted in waterboys n omg, she is how chio!!! if u want to see her pic, it is on my msn display pic :)

jokes of the day
Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.

Employer: Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?
Young Man: I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.

Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.

howl

2005-06-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

hmmm, just watched howl's moving castle on my com. pretty good anime wif awesome graphic. i luv the fire demon, calcifer, cos it is how kawaii. i am a bit puzzled by the story line though, still can't really understand y sophie wanted to remove calcifer from the castle. the castle will be destroyed but how is it going to help howl win his battle??? hmmm, i am pretty puzzled. aiya, who cares anyway, i did not pay a single bux to watch this movie anyway. great thx to the fansub team who sub this movie :). can't believe how good the graphic is even though it is taken from a digicam(u can see some people moving around in the cinema, hahaha). this movie is really awesome so whoever wants to borrow it, just ask me :)

aiyo, i still got a lot of movies and animes in my com not watched yet. pretty gg. more than 40 episodes of anime still unwatched(total of more than 10 hrs). argh! dun know when i can finish them when i am dl abt one a day. hahaha, i think i got enough anime to set up a rental shop lor(more than 40 gb at least)

joke of the day
An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question, Have you ever been arrested? He answered,No.
The next question, intended for people, who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was Why?
The applicant answered it anyway: Never got caught.

waterboys

2005-06-05T20:47:00.000+08:00

pretty bored today..... can't think of anything to write. the only enjoyable thing tt happen is watching waterboys, both the movie as well as the tv version. waterboys is one of my fav show cos it is damn funny. haha, i think i will not blabber on anymore, on to the jokes.

joke of the day
CORPORATE TALK
Here's something that might help you figure out those slick jibberish from recruiting companies so you'll know what they really mean!
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers.
"IMMEDIATE OPENING" The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS" After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own pension plan and, if you behave we'll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT" We have a lot of turnover.
"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT" Guys in grey suits will bore you with tales of squash and their weekends on yachts.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM" We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. "FLEXIBLE HOURS" Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" We have no quality control. .
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.
"ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD" You whine, you're fired.

sat over

2005-06-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

SAT is finally over. no more mugging for it anymore!!! actually doing sat is quite easy if u have the write combi. firstly u need to go to a good test center such as Anderson where u can copy easily and the invigilators look super bored. then u need to find a good partner/s who are damn good and most likely will fly for sat. i have all these factors today and so i am pretty happy wif my performance for SAT today :)

after 4 hrs of gruelling test, i went to take part in the Weiqi Lenka Cup(it sounds damn like 'cold leg' in hokkien to me). got totally owned so decide to skip the third match. i think i will leave out the funny things tt happen to my frens as it is really embarrassing. (see, i am such a good person)

sigh, y am i unable to go for the syco concert today. can't believe my bro is going though. me really want to listen to tian wang and give yang qing and yan shan support also. haiz, must be fate la. however i still enjoy slacking at home. nothing can beat stoning around, doing nothing. i am the pinnacle of slackerhood.

now on to the joke of the day which everyone is looking for
A blind man walked into a department shop with his seeing eye dog. After a while, he stopped in the middle of the place and lifted his dog and started swinging the dog around. Alarmed, the security of the place approached him and asked, "Sir, may I help you?" "No thanks," said the blind man, "I'm just looking around."

sat

2005-06-03T13:52:00.000+08:00

sat on sat. sat on sat. sat on sat. damn it, y am i taking sat anyway. argh, it is driving me crazy. found out minjia only got 2230 m he is damn unhappy abt it. aiya, if i got tt kind of mark, i will be very happy lor. me aiming for a "modest" 2250. sigh, life sux. if i continue to write down the reasons on why life sux, i think my fingers will be stuck on the keyboard...

sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr sat tmr.
damn i am really going mad, will only become sane if sat is over. at least i can still look forward to pool tmr. sigh sigh sigh sigh, nth to write for today. i m going to mug mug mug and be a no lifer. hahaha, i am becoming crazy (must be because too influenced by a certain entity call minjia)

joke of the day
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

bloated

2005-06-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

i realise i am damn stupid to post my cheating confession on my blog. wat if some moe person come across my blog and decide to give me a big fat T for my A lvl...... no no no, make it 3 T since i take 3 sciences. argh!!! then i will be ruined forever. sheesh, i am being so paranoid here, luckily my blog still does not contain any racism(yet) and so most likely won't hit the headlines. i can imagine wat it will be "student in top junior college in bishan ang mo kio area a cheat and a racist!" oh dear, me so worried :D

sigh, went for the stupid psycho test today, totally screw it up(relax me not a psycho). wasted my time. then went to eat a pizza feste for lunch. ordered 4 pizzas( large, mind u and for 8 ppl) and a lot of sidedishes to be shared among 6 ppl but due to a unforseen circumstances, we ended up with 5 :) so in the end everyone eat almost 2 ppl share. damn, i am so bloated now. i will swear off pizza for one month already, sick of it liao. argh!!! too full, i am too full. my poor stomach. how i wish i am da4 wei4 wang1, can eat anything without filling full. 我的胃大如宇宙！

joke of the day
Oh, darling, let's not park here.
Oh, darling, let's not park.
Oh, darling, let's not.
Oh, darling, let's!
Oh, darling!
Oh!

use yur imagination for this joke :p

smo

2005-06-01T15:22:00.000+08:00

went for smo today. smo is not really abt yur prowess in math but is really abt how well u can cheat and copy from the guy next to u, in front of u, behind u. it is quite fun actually la, going there to hone my cheating skill (such as hand signal or straight forward discussion) which is already damn zai since my pri sch day. maybe i shld recap the no. of times i cheated. hmmm, first one is in pri 4, when i found the ans sheet to a test on the teacher table, 2nd one in pri 6 prelim, when i check ans with a fren who happen to sit at the opposite end of the classroom. i was using hand signal such as using 2 fingers to scratch my head to signal for ans 2. then the 3rd time is in sec2 end of year chi exam, was using the back of the eraser and roller to pass ans around :) then there are so many tests and spas which i know the qu b4 hand. i can't remember going into a single spa without knowledge of the qu and the ans scheme not prepared. ahh, looking back at all these, i feel a sense of pride(no tinge of shame at all :p).

the food at nus is dirt cheap also. everything cost around 2 bux only lor e.g. chicken chop costs only 2.20. hahaha, i must really get into NUS medicine next time and i will definitely save a lot of lunch money :D

Joke of the Day
The neighbour looked over the fence to see little Timmy filling up a hole in his garden. Interested in what Timmy was doing, she politely asked, "What are you up to Timmy?" "My hamster died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's a huge hole for a little hamster, isn't it?" Timmy patted down the last heap of earth and replied, "That's because he's inside your goddamned cat!"

cadbury

2005-05-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

i luv the cadbury advertisement :) the tune is catchy and the characters so damn funny. i have found the lyrics of the songs for u all to sing

Surfer
Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Cadbury. You could surf inside a chocolate tube. Ride your board across the wave forever. Get wiped out and never get a bruise. And if a shark came up and tried to bite you. You could say "I'm chocolate I invite you". Wouldn't it be nice!

Car
Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Cadbury, Driving in the car would be a tasty treat, Changing gear would soon become a problem, Cadbury Dairy Milk is so good to eat. And when you arrive at your destination, You'll be greeted with an exclamation, Wouldn't it be nice!

here are 2 more advertisements not shown in singapore. i discover that the advertisements first appear in Australia

Postie
Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Cadbury. Chocolate roads and trees 'n' birds 'n' bees. Delivering all kinds of letters daily. Every kind of purple parcel too. And if the dog did try and grab a mouth full. You can bite him back, he'll taste delightful. Wouldn't it be nice.!

Soccer
Wouldn't it be nice if the world was CadburyYou could be a soccer super star.The referee would blow his chocolate whistle. A shot on goal would even break the bar. And if you went and scored the winner. You'd win the cup and eat it for your dinner. Wouldn't it be nice!

orh, isn't this nice of me. how i wish the world is made ofd chocolate, or even ice cream!

2005-05-31T12:35:00.000+08:00

it is tt time of the year again, Miss Universe International!! this year crown go to Miss Canada, Natalie Glebova who has dazzling blue eyes and a hot body to boot. argh, how i wish i can upload her pic on my blog, pls offer me some help anyone. i was actually quite disappointed tt Miss Peru did not make it to top 5 as she looks really hot too. too bad i miss the earlier part of the show which showcase all the contestants :( i notice one funny thing abt this show though. during the qu and ans section, after the qu is read out, the qu is translated into the contestant native language but the the contestant answer in English! now, wat is the use of translating when the contestant understand english. i hope next year, Miss Singapore will look much better than this year and at least able to enter top 20.

Joke of the Day
The worst Civil Aviation disaster happened in Poland when a single-seater Cessna crashed in a graveyard. The death toll is 482 so far and authorities say that the toll is set to rise as they unearth more bodies.

fever

2005-05-30T11:13:00.000+08:00

sigh, went to see a doctor just now. it is confirmed, i am really sick(down with fever, flu and cough). it has been such a long time since i last see a doctor and i make an observation today.... malay tend to fall sick more easily than any other races. out of 10 people in the clinic, 8 are malays. hahaha, i am not trying to say malays are inferior or anything but this is wat i observed( so do not call me racist, k)
i want to thx qing for her concern. i dun think u r the one who spread the fever to me. my class already got quite a few ppl who are already sick, so dun feel so bad abt me falling sick.

joke of the day
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "Let's have a look at him." So the vet picks up the dog and examines his eyes, his teeth and ears.
Finally, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?? Just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's bloody heavy."

:D

even more jokes

2005-05-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

It has been reported that Michael Jackson had sex with Victoria Beckham whilst her husband David played with his Real Madrid team at their last match.
Jacksons aides were quick to deny the story however, insisting that he was in Brooklyn at the time

The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a pretty young woman wearing only the flimsiest of nightgowns, carrying her in his arms down three flights of stairs.
As they arrived safely outside the building, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did."
"Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were also trying to save you."

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. After recapturing the kangaroo, the zookeeper put up a ten-foot fence. Again the kangaroo was out the next morning, roaming around the zoo. So the fence was extended to twenty feet. But again the kangaroo was out the next morning. Frustrated zoo officials built a fence forty feet high. A camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How much higher do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet I guess -- unless somebody starts locking the gate!"

more jokes

2005-05-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

when the Americans fart, they'll say "excuse me"

when the English fart, they'll say "pardon me"

but when singaporean fart, wat will they say?? "NOT ME NOT ME!!"

Plan For Future: Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

Exams: Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions. 2,Difficult to Understand. 3,More Explanation is Needed. 4,Result is always FAIL!

Liar: A man is dying of Cancer. His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"

Three Feelings: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Chinese Adam & Eve: If adam and Eve were Chinese we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

sick

2005-05-28T22:40:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i am falling sick... tot i got some fantastic immune system but alas the great has fallen and i am falling sick. hahaha, now i am trying to keep awake so as to watch tian long ba bu which i have missed a lot of episodes. now i can't even catch up wif the storyline, dun know wat is happening anymore.
luckily i got catch final fantasy on tv today. like star wars, fantastic effect but boring storyline. i especially hate the ending.... now i just hope tt wu jian dao will be a good movie to watch tmr or else i will be sorely disappointed.
time seems to zoom especially fast during the hol. the first day of the june hol is almost over and i just spent most of the time milling around the hs, doing nothing :( thing isn't looking good, my dota skill seem to be deteriorating(luckily my winning streak is not over yet :) ) i need to get well soon...

lame Jokes

2005-05-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

1)Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong ... Who will win first ??

ans: Saddam cos sa dam hu xian

2) What's the full name of water

ans: the full name of water is yang hua shui (coz shui(water) xing(surname) "yang hua"

3)Dog staring at a cat....guess a building

ans: Golden Mile Complex (Gou deng Mao)

Revival!!!

2005-05-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

blah blah blah, i am bored so i decide to revive my blog after it is dead for a year (and also due to popular demand). so here it is..... don't ask me when will this blog dies cos i seriously dun know :D